To My Master

Know that whether Phoenix calls or Mandos’ halls
Enfold my breast, I’ll miss you still.
Know that darkness can’t abate— nor fear, nor hate—
My love for you, only my will.
Forgive that I’m not strong, and can’t for long
Endure this trial. Would I were brave!
More than all else I yearn, with tears that burn,
To know for certain you were saved.
Whatever end draws near, my hope and fear
Dissolve to numbness. Still I long
With aching heart to touch — you meant this much —
Your hand, and give you one last song.
I miss you terribly, but cannot find in word or sign
Any token adequate to tell
How high I hold you in esteem, and yet I dream
I’ll wake from pain to find you well.